*Gutterfly is chasing after Sage as he walks through the corridors of the house*

Gutterfly: Sage! How are you going to get Eugene back? Shouldn't we call the police?

Sage: No. The police will not be involved in this. We'll do it ourselves.

Gutterfly: You can't take on Mog alone!

Sage: I won't have to. We'll have an army.

Gutterfly: Where are you going to get an army?

*Sage reaches the garage. He enters, crosses to the other side, and presses a button. Instantly the garage starts shifting and changing shape...tool racks disappear into the wall. The ceiling shoots high into the sky. The walls expand and begin to change color. Gutterfly's jaw drops as he watches his garage transform*

Gutterfly: *shouting over the noise* What's happening?

Sage: *smiling* You'll see

*Finally, the noise dies down and the transformation is complete. The garage had become an enormous, purpleish-pink fortress*

Sage: Welcome to Fuschia Fortress!

Gutterfly: How did you...

*Sage ignores him and rushes outside. Gutterfly follows him and finds Sage painting on a giant billboard. He watches as Sage paints*

Gutterfly: *shouting up at Sage* What are you writing?

Sage: *shouting down* You'll see!

*Eventually Sage finishes the sign. Gutterfly reads it aloud.*

Gutterfly: Come one, come all...join Sage's Army to defeat the malevolent Mog! Join the side of good and defeat evil! Applications for Sage's Army are being accepted inside Fuschia Fortress!

Sage: Cool, isn't it?

*Gutterfly starts to say something, but stops when he hears someone approaching.*

Sage: *smiling* Why, I think that might be our first recruit.

Last Edited : Thursday, 16 June 2005 - 16:29

Hey Sage you need to work on your spelling there.

"Come on, come all" what the heck is that?

Now whats going on? I have crushed Mog several times yet somehow he always survives, and nobody ever seemed to think he was all that bad before. So whats he done that you wish to raise an army to defeat him?

Good sir, I direct you to the thread "The Foul Kidnapping - Forum War 2005" so that you can see with your own eyes the HEINOUS deed committed by this malevolent Mogster!

"well you did say we are suppose to be role playing, based off of how the thread is worded the only information I would have is from the poorly written, I mean edited and corrected sign."

It might help if you ask them to aid you in recovering your child and save your relationship. After all, I can see the desolation of WOL if you were to start searching for a new soul mate. So in the interest of saving WOL by keeping you from dating again I shall aid you in this endevor.

*Sage nods*

Sage: Gutterfly...go fix that sign, wouldja, while I'm talking to our newest recruit?

*Gutterfly nods, grabs the paint can, and scurries up to edit the sign*

Sage: Excellent, excellent. I'm glad to know you're with us. Do you have a resume?

Ghengis: A resume?

Sage: Yes, a resume! How am I supposed to know what kind of position in my army to give you unless you have a resume?

Ghengis: Well...

Gutterfly: *shouting from the billboard* Is this good, Sage?

*Sage looks up. The sign now reads: "P.S. That hairy ******* stole Eugene."

Sage: Great, sweetie! You can come down now.

*Gutterfly scurries down and stands next to Sage. Ghengis is busy scribbling on a napkin. Sage and Gutterfly watch him curiously until he finishes and hands it to Sage*

Sage: *reading the napkin* Yes...yes, this is an impressive resume. Did you really make Osama Bin Laden cry?

Ghengis: *blushing* Aaw...it was nothing.

Sage: *claps Ghengis on the back* Nonsense, it's great! All right, you're in! You may enter the Fuschia Fortress and wait for an assignment.

Ghengis: Yes, sir! *runs off into the fortress*

*Sage sits down, looks at Gutterfly, and smiles*

Sage: See? I told you we'd have help. *Looks towards the horizon* And I think I see another one coming!

Gutterfly: That's a tree

Sage: *frowning* Nonsense! Oh...so it is. Well, in the meantime...let's have some lemonade!

*A lightbulb appears over Sage's head, and he rushes up with the can of paint to edit the billboard again.*

FREE LEMONADE FOR ALL SAGIANS!

"Sagey, could you take out the trash?"

"Dang it, Gutterfly, I'm trying to build an army!"

"Fine, I guess I'll just do EVERYTHING around the house, and you go have fun with your buddies, staying out all night, leaving me here alone!!"

"I'm not having fun with buddies, our son was kidnapped!! Do you want to get him back or not?"

"Oh, sure, and what excuse will it be next week?!?! I bet you just hid him somewhere with his toys, and made some elaborate story so you could get out of doing work! In a few hours, he'll show up in the house by some miracle, but by then your game will be on, and you sure as hell won't do any work then!"

"Oooooh, thats right, I'm going through ALL THIS EFFORT just so I don't have to take out the trash! You got me."

"Shut it, mister, thats no more action for a week!"

Sage lets out a sigh, and goes back to his recruiting work...

With Gutterfly being so crabby with his soulmate, is he perhaps considering going to Mog? Or is it just his time of the month!?! No one knows, this is anybody's war!

wow... this is better then Startrek "beam me up Scotty"...
better then Starwars Vrs Starwars even (with a lot of Tie Fighters going after Enterprise lol Go Empire Go...)...
Better still then Galactica meets Starwars (Viper Viper Viper... + Starbuck ofcourse)...
Better still version i don't care anymore then Alien versus Bartrek (Cheers + Startrek for tho ones who don't know it)...

I'm awed... with Sages' awareness... Oh mighty Lord of the Unpronouncable Colour, where were thy all my life? Let me lie down at your feet (and hopefully meet some gals by the way and drink a few breskys 2)...

*Sage continues to stare at iznogoud as he rants about Startrek, Starwars, and Starpants*

Sage: *whispering to Gutterfly* He's sure not subtle with the flattery, is he?

Gutterfly: *eyes narrowed* I don't trust him.

Sage: *still whispering* Why not?

Gutterfly: Because he has a wire hanging out of his shirt.

*Sage holds up his hand, interrupting iznogoud. He walks around iznogoud and finds a wire, indeed, is hanging out of his shirt. He lifts up the shirt and finds a recording device marked "Mog's Secret Spy Equipment."

Sage: You're from Mog!

Iznogoud: No! It's a lie! It's not mine...I'm just holding it for a friend!

*Sage points towards Mog's Hideout*

Sage: Get out of here, Mogite filth!

*Iznogoud, looking rejected, makes his way back to Mog's*

Gutterfly: Wait!

*Iznogoud turns back around*

Sage: What is it?

Gutterfly: Look! *pulls up izn's shirt again*

Sage: Look at what?

*Gutterfly pulls off the "Mog's Secret Spy Equipment." sticker, revealing an "Actually made in Sageland" sticker*

Sage: Oh...ok. You're in. Welcome to the team. Um...sorry about that.

Iznogoud: *giggles* Yay! *runs off into the fortress*

Last Edited : Thursday, 16 June 2005 - 22:39

*Suddenly there's a slight tremor in the Fuchsia Fortress and some drywall dust gently falls from the ceiling. Sage's brow crinkles and he looks around.

Sage: Hey Gfly, did you feels that?

Gfly *looks up from the sink where he's busily washing a huge mound of dishes.* "No. What?" *Gfly looks down alarmingly at his own feet* "Did you tie my shoelaces up again Sage? Ohh… no you didn't. Feel what then?"

*and within a second there's another slightly stronger tremor. This time the dishes in the cupboard add a little jiggle to the effect.

Gfly: "Now I felt that. What do you think this is Sagey?" *and Gfly's hand closes over a roasting fork, trembling slightly* "Do you think it has something to do with that kingpin Mog?"

Sage: *Gets up from his couch and grabs his shotgun.* "No babe. I don't think so. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Go back to the dishes and let me check it out."

Gfly: "Sure Sage, I'll do that." *and calmly Gfly wipes his hands with a towel, grabs the roasting fork and quietly slips into the broom closet.

*Sage loads the gun as another even stronger tremor vibrates the Fuchsia Fortress. "Hey Ghengis will you please take position in the stables, this might just be another attack by that $@*^& Mog." *and Ghengis hurries to the stables to huddle with his pony.

*Ghengis disappears through the stables side door and this time a strong quake causes Sage's sausage eating trophy to tumble down from the shelf and land face down into Gfly's half prepared pastry on the kitchen table. Sage grimaces as he stands behind the fortress door psyching himself up for the threat outside. He peeks through the peephole but sees nothing outside.

*Sage slowly opens the door and pokes the gun barrel out before him. Suddenly a huge fist, double the side of a regular human fist clamps down on the gun's barrels and with a great screech of metal twists the barrels into a ninety degree angle. Sage tries to pull the gun back but the huge metal fist prevents any movement. The twisted barrel is forced down and a beaming face appears in the door way a second later.




It's Rog Ironfist!



Rog: "err Sage, dear lad, is that a way to greet your guests? Gun barrels afore?!" *he hands Sage back his gun and has enough decency to look slightly embarrassed.* "I hope this can be mended Sage. Sorry. I was afraid your place was run over by Mog and his minions."

Sage: *regains his colour and shouts happily into the fortress* "Gfly, Ghengis, iznogoud, where are you all…. Rog is here. Come say hello. Err, hello there Rog. So… you've decided to come and help me rescue Eugene?" *and Sage holds his fingers crossed behind his back praying to every possible god, that it is so.

Rog: *looks closely at Sage and sighs* "Yes, Sage. I have!" and he steps in to hug Gfly in greeting.

*iznogoud pipes up and asks Sage "Uncle Sage, how did Rog get his fist to be that large or strong? Can I get like that too?" Sage just hushes iznogoud down and discreetly points at the bulge in Rog's pants. He then taps his nose knowingly and iznogoud's jaw drops.

Last Edited : Friday, 17 June 2005 - 06:29

*Sage climbs up to the already crowded billboard and edits it again*

*Now with Rog: Master of the penis reference!*

*Satisfied, he scurries down the ladder and back into the fortress*

*Sage lowers his binoculars and turns to Gutterfly, Ghengis, Iznogoud, and Rog Ironfist*

Sage: Ok, fellas, here's the situation from what I gather. We know Mog has Ultima Bahamut on his side--"

Rog: How do we know that?

Sage: I...um...saw him mooning me from the window.

Rog: Oh...well, he DOES have recognizable buttcheeks. Sorry for interrupting.

Sage: *coughs* And we can plainly see Gyne running around Mog's front yard with a huge sword. *turns to Ghengis* You're lucky she wasn't there when you pulled your little "super cool recon dude" act.

*Ghengis blushes and nods*

Sage: Finally, I just saw Maximillian enter Mog's hideaway. He hasn't come out...so we can assume he's either dead or joined up with the enemy.

Iznogoud: Maybe they're drinking tea!

Sage: *pauses a beat* Sure. Maybe they are. The point is, we don't know. But that has to change.

*reachs into his pocket and pulls out a small camera and a stick of chewing gum*

Sage: I need somebody to sneak into Mog's hideaway and use this chewing gum to attach the camera to a wall. You'll need to place it somewhere hidden where he can't find it.

*Iznogoud raises his hand*

Iznogoud: Ooh! Ooh! Me!

Sage: *ignoring Iznogoud* This could be a very dangerous mission.

*Iznogoud waves his hand more excitedly, trying to get Sage's attention*

Sage: The possibility of being captured and tortured is a very real one.

Iznogoud: Me me me me pick meeee

Sage: Are there any brave souls who want to take this task on? Gutterfly?

*Gutterfly shakes his head*

Sage: Ghengis?

Ghengis: I'm still injured from the pony incident...

Sage: *pleading* Rog?

Rog: *looks up from his adult magazine* Wha?

Sage: *sighs* Ok, Izn. You can go.

Iznogoud: YAY!

*Sage hands him the camera and the chewing gum.*

Sage: Good luck, soldier!

Anybody who flys the same colours as me has to be all right Can I join your Army to help get your little one back

Last Edited : Saturday, 18 June 2005 - 09:41

*Sage lowers his newspaper and peers over the top at SnowMan.

Sage: Yeah, you can be joining. What are your skills?

SnowMan: I'm a crack shot with a dozen weapons...everything from the Colt Magnum to the Unpleasant Duck Ray. I--

Sage: *interrupting* The Unpleasant Duck Ray?

SnowMan: Yes, sir. You don't want to know much about it, sir. It's rather unpleasant.

Sage: Ok...carry on.

SnowMan: I have experience piloting both aircraft and submarines. And I'm VERY good at reading peoples faces.

*SnowMan walks over to the window*

SnowMan: Like that guy, there *points to Ghengis* He has a crush on you. That's why he joined up...he doesn't really buy into the whole "truth and justice" thing.

*points to Rog*

SnowMan: Him...he's actually a woman. On the inside, of course. He's hoping to have the operation one day.

*SnowMan sits down and puts his feet up on the desk*

SnowMan: And what I'm reading in your face, Sage, is that you have a plan and the smarts to take on the challenges coming up in the the next few weeks. I always side with the winner...and Sage...you're a winner.

*Sage lowers his newspaper all the way and smiles*

Sage: Well, I'm convinced. Welcome to the Good Guys!

Hey can I join up?

Last Edited : Saturday, 18 June 2005 - 22:04

Ghengis heads for his room, the classic "Harley Does Atlantis" is going to be on tonight, and he intends to have an enjoyable evening convalessing.

He is flipping through the stations when he sees something that causes him to turn green and loose his lunch. he thinks "I thought the story Rog told me about Gyne and the donkey was wrong. But that is down right disturbing! Doesn't Sage know thats a mallard? The sight is truely disgusting no duck should be put through that, especially a male." Then an even worse thought crosses his mind "Didn't Sage say we were having duck tonight?"

With that he passes out for a few minutes. He comes back sitting bolt upright with a realization. Unfortunately the channel is still on and Sage now has a chicken as well and is forcing its head into...

Ghengis passes out again, luckily his hand hits the remote changing the channel to "Harley Does Atlantis". When he wakes up it is to his favorite movie and actress. His mind has totally blanked the episode of sage out in an effort to protect itself. Ghengis decides to take a nap before supper and has a terrible nightmare about chickens and ducks, he decides to for go supper as he no longer has an appetite.

*Gutterfly leaves to Mog's Hideaway to carry out his cunning plan, leaving Sage alone and bored with the rest of his posse*

Sage: Hehe...posse...

*Sage picks up a tiny throwing knife and tosses it at the ceiling, catching it on its way back down*

Sage: I think I'll go wake up the fellas...they need some excitement.

*Sage gets up and walks into the kitchen, where he finds IzNoGoud sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. His back is turned toward Sage. Sage takes careful aim and throws his tiny throwing knife at IzNoGoud, hitting him in the shoulder.

IzNoGoud: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG.

*Sage quickly hides*

*Ghengis rushes into the room*

Ghengis: What is it, my oddly named friend?

IzNoGoud: *pulling the tiny knife from his shoulder* Somebody just knifed me!

Ghengis: This sounds like a case for...GHENGIS KHAN, PRIVATE PART.

IzNoGoud: Don't you mean Private Eye?

Ghengis: Yes. Yes I do. *paces the room* Now, this mystery will take some solving before it gest solved. We have to consider all possibilities. It could be one of Mog's ruffians...or it could be an inside job.

IzNoGoud: *looking shocked* An inside job?

Ghengis: Yes! We can't make any assumptions. Some people can be very sneaky and treacherous. First...how do we know you didn't do this to yourself?

IzNoGoud: Because I'm bleeding and in pain?

*behind a curtain, Sage giggles. It goes unheard*

Ghengis: That's no excuse! But I don't think you're a suspect...you'd have to be pretty flexible to stick a knife all the way back there on yourself...ok, you're clear.

IzNoGoud: Who did it then?

Ghengis: *looking determined* Don't worry. I'll find out.

***SEVERAL HOURS LATER***

*Ghengis gathers everyone into the den. IzNoGoud has his shoulder bandaged. Rog shifts his feet uncomfortably. SnowMan is asleep, and Sage is busy concealing a small box labeled "tiny throwing knives" *

Ghengis: I've gathered you all here because I believe I have solved the case!

Rog: What case?

Ghengis: THE CASE OF THE TINY THROWING KNIFE THAT INCONVENIENCED IZNOGOUD, YOU FOOL

Rog: Sorry...

Ghengis: Anyhow...I determined that the culprit is NOT one of Mog's ruffians. This was an inside job!

*Sage looks worried and readies a knife, just in case*

Ghengis: The villain here is...meYOW!!!!!!!

*Ghengis pulls a knife from his leg*

Ghengis: Why would I do that to myself?

*Sage quickly hides his box of throwing knives*

Rog: So wait...you're the one throwing the knives?

Ghengis: Yes! It was the perfect crime...or so I thought! But not even I am smart enough to outwit myself when I'm using my brain!

*Snowman wakes up for one quick observation*

Snowman: I'm sure that whatever you intended to say was brilliant and indisputable. Too bad it makes no f'n sense!

*Snowman goes back to sleep*

Ghengis: The point is, the mystery has been solved, and the culprit punished.

Sage: Who punished you?

Ghengis: I...um...punished myself.

*Everyone looks aghast*

Rog: We...we don't want to know

Sage: Yeah...probably not.

Ghengis: *smiling* The end!

*Sage pulls out a knife and throws it at Rog*

Rog: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGURGLE

Ghengis: Damn you, self! Now you need to be spanked again!

{Ghengis wakes up in his room in a cold sweat. His memories have come back full force, making him realize that they weren't disturbing dreams. He actually saw sage with a duck and a chicken! Eugene must be rescued but he can no longer continue working for sage. He also remembers seeing a sign about Hwatta being neutral, and having safe food. He quickly forms a plan and goes to see sage.}

Ghengis: Sage, this tower Hwatta has started could be quite a threat. He claims to be neatral, but the longer you and mog fight the more power he will be able to gather. I don't think he intends to do anything accept make sure that neither side gains the upper hand. The longer the two of you fight, the weaker you will get, while he gets stronger. Then when your followers are worn out from fighting, he will come in and overpower everyone and proclaim himself emperor.

Sage: {Eyes widening} I knew that Hwatta was up to something, but I never thought of this. Hearing it now, it makes perfect since why he is claiming to be neatral. Those poor fools that are backing him have no clue what they are in for. But what are we to do? We can't end the war with mog until he returns Eugene and my Gutter. Yet if we continue, we risk handing WOL over to hwatta.

Ghengis: For now we must continue to prepare for the war with mog. You have to see to your troops, but we must get inside of that tower and get another camera placed. This mission is to delicate to intrust to iznogood. Hwatta may not be playing with a full deck, but he certianly has more upstairs than mog. I'll go myself POD is there and she trusts me, with her backing I am sure I can get hwatta to trust me.

Sage: Ghengis this is extremely dangerous are you sure you want to do it?

Ghengis: I don't really have a choice. Rog tends to treat everything like a nail and that just wont work in this situation. All they would have to do is offer izno a medal and he would tell them everything. You have to get your men ready and finish the plan. So that leaves me.

Sage: I hate to admit it but your right. Go but becareful, if hwatta suspects you, you could suffer a horrible fate.

Ghengis:{not worse than that duck and chicken Ghenis thinks.} Ok I'm going now so that we can start getting information.

With that ghengis grabs a camera and exits the fuschia fortress. He smiles thinking that the hard part is over. Time to do some drinking and partying!