Has anyone read Crime and Punishment? If so, do you have any insights?

Yes ... after Raskonny
did unto Lizaveta
and then stopped playing
with the wilted flower
on the wall paper,
he did the "hokey-pokey"
then he turned himself around
... that's what it's all about.

TR

Last Edited : Saturday, 14 May 2005 - 02:02

I never found that profound meaning in the story, but I geuss Im not a brilliant literary critic like you...

But you spelled Raskalinov wrong.

I WIN!!!
something...

A cookie!

*gives Demo a cookie*

(Demosthenes gobbles up the Cookie, getting Cookie crumbs and Drool all over his copy of Anna Karenia)
Im reading Russian literature

Actually I should have spelled it "Raskolnny" instead of "Raskonny" I guess ...
the correct spelling is "Raskolnikov"
but I enjoyed your post that preceded my last poem So enjoy the "cookie".
This reminds me of when my German shepherd was a pup and I called him "Rexy" which prompted my wife to ask,
"wait a minute ... is his name "Rex" or is it "Rexy"?"
Sorry if no one thinks that's funny.

TR

PS:
I didn't ever write a poem in my life before 5/06/05.

TR

Well, Im glad I inspired you with this forum!

The Accident!
In the style of: A Bad Soap Opera

Alyson Busch was a strong, self-empowered woman with a fiery personality and a burning ambition for success. Beneath the quiet, merchandise displayer exterior lay a woman who knew what she wanted in life and was determined to achieve it. But in the meantime, she had to finish dressing the mannequins.

She had just finished dressing her favorite mannequin (she had named it Blaine) when Philip, her boss, came out from the back room. She smiled at him. Before she had met her husband, Jon, her and Philip had shared a brief love affair until they had discovered, to their horror, that Philip was actually her long lost twin sister. This had confused Alyson at first, but eventually the long, confusing logic had convinced her.

"Hi Philip!" she said, smiling her gleaming smile. "Do you like how I've dressed Blaine?"

He smiled back. "I think Blaine looks rather plain, actually." Philip loved to rhyme things. It was a personality quirk that some found amusing, but most found to be quite a put-off. Alyson was one of the former.

"Why?" she asked. "Is it the tie?"

"No, it's just. The whole look." He said. "We need something with more pizzazz, more WOW." He shouted the word 'wow', making Alyson jump.

She examined the mannequin. She thought he already had plenty 'wow.' So she said so. "I think he has plenty 'wow.'"

"Oh, my dear Alyson." Philip chuckled. "You have so much to learn about the world of fashion."

Feeling insulted, she lashed out and slapped him across the face. Then she felt guilty. "Sorry, Philip. Sometimes I can't control my slapping."

He laughed and rubbed his face. "That's ok," he said. "Sometimes I can't help but judge people by their footwear. It's almost as if someone had designed us to be one-dimensional."

"Don't you call me one-dimensional!" she slapped him again.

Philip opened his mouth to reply, but was cut short by the telephone ringing. "Excuse me," he said. "I'll go get that."

Philip walked over to the desk and picked up the phone. "Hello, this is Philip! How can I help you today?" His smile disappeared. "Yes, I'll tell her right away. Ok. Yeah, I got it. Wow, both of them? I see. Ok, bye."

Suddenly Alyson knew something was terribly wrong. Philip turned to her, looking distraught. "Alyson…" he said. "I have some terrible news."

Jon, she thought. Something had happened to her husband. "What? For God's sake, Philip, what is it?"

He shook his head sadly. "Your shoes don't match your outfit at all! Tsk tsk!"

Alyson let out her breath. "Oh…sorry. So Jon's ok?"

Philip shook his head sadly again. "No, Alyson…I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but…" he paused. She waited, anxiously. He continued pausing.

"What is it, Philip? What happened? Tell me!"

"Jon…he fell down the elevator shaft at the library. He's in a coma. They say he may never wake up."

*6 Months Later*


The doctor looked at Jon, then back to Alyson. "I'm sorry to say this, Miss, but there's nothing we can do. We've done everything we can. I'm afraid that…he's gone."

Alyson broke down into tears. "No, it's not true!" she stood up and slapped the doctor across the face. He didn't visibly react; he had grown used to this behavior over the last six months. "Sorry," she apologized. "but it's not true! It can't be true! I love him too much for him to die!" she sobbed.

"I understand, Miss…but the only thing left to do is to…" he paused.

"To what?" she asked.

"Pull the plug." He said, gravely.

"Nooooooooooooo!" she wailed.

"Yes." The doctor replied, simply.

"Let me have a few minutes to anguish about it first!" she demanded.

"All right, I'll leave you alone with him."

She went over to his bedside. "Jon?" she whispered. She held his hand tightly. "Jon, can you hear me? It's Alyson. They want me to pull the plug, Jon. If you can hear me, if you're still alive in there…give me a sign."

She waited, but no sign came. "Arrrg!" she cried, frustrated, and slapped her comatose husband across the face. He showed no response. Why did the slapping never work?

The doctor burst into the room. "Mrs. Busch!" he cried. "This is not how we treat people here! This is a hospital!"

She stood up, sadly. "I'm ready to pull the plug, doctor."

He nodded. "Ok, do it." He said, pointing to an electrical outlet.

She had been almost entirely sure that "pulling the plug" hadn't meant literally pulling a plug, but she did as requested. She pulled the plug out of the electrical socket, and her husband's respirator shut down. She sobbed softly and slapped the doctor.

Then, a miracle happened. Jon began to breath on his own! "Doctor!" she cried out. "Doctor, he's breathing! He's alive! But how…"

"Well," the doctor explained. "I guess the shock of being taken off of the respirator shocked his brain back to life. Stranger things have happened."

"Wow…" she said. She turned to her husband. "Jon! Are you there? Can you hear me?"

He opened his eyes. "Alyson?"

She smiled. "Jon!" she hugged him tightly.

"How long…how long have I been gone?"

"Six months." She explained. "Oh, they said you'd never wake up!"

He smiled. "I guess I proved them wrong."

"You sure did!"

"Just promise me one thing, Alyson."

"Sure, Jon. Anything." She said.

"From now on, make me take the stairs."

Alyson, Jon, and the doctor all laughed, and the lights slowly faded to blackness. It was probably one of those "dimmer" switches that lets you do that.

THE END?

(Demosthenes mutters about a really, really bad story)

Huh?
I dont get it.

Arghhh!!!!!

It's a parody of a soap opera. Have you ever watched a soap opera?

The reason that it's so bizarre and makes so little sense is that soap operas, generally, are bizarre and make little sense. And in order to do a parody of one, I had to exagerrate the already extremely bad plot/characters/ect...

Last Edited : Monday, 16 May 2005 - 21:16

Flip around on some channels.. you ll find them .. Look for the funny lighting and you re there.

(Demosthenes turns on TV, follows Gynes instructions)

Brains...Turning--to mushh......

I cant--hold on
typin is vry hard...cnt speel
agh!
oh no

OK .. so Demosthenes tell me ... has he died yet but then mysteriously come back to life with amnisia and now he just found her and they are going to get married but his mother is going to kill her .. so he almost kills his mother but then realized that his fiance has been cheating on him.... bla bla bla bla bla?

*screams* Quick get out before its too late for you ... Run!

Must...watch...figure...out...what...happens...to...Marie...will...she...get...married...to...cute...barber...boy...and....leave...her...kids...to...die...alone?

(Logical part of Demosthenes brain turns on)

Duh, of course she will!

But, I must tune in next time!

*whispers to demo* .. " she doesnt .. she dies"

Demo cries in horror

bump