VERY INTERESTING -

1. The garden of Eden was in Iraq.

2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!

3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.

4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.

5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!

6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq.

7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.

8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.

9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.

10. Amos cried out in Iraq!

11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.

12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!

13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the fiery furnace!)

14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.

15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.

16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.

17. The wise men were from Iraq.

18. Peter preached in Iraq.

19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon, which was a city in Iraq!

And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible. The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia. The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers . The name Iraq, means country with deep roots.

Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.

No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq.

And also... This is something to think about! Since America is typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...

The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)

Koran (9:11) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!

And the joke there was...

How many gears does an Italien tank have?
8. Seven in reverse and one forward. Why one forward? In case they're attacked from behind.

Who put the 3 bullets through Mussolini?
500 Italien sharpshooters.

Beer Theories

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -- Babe Ruth

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. - H.L. Mencken

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! - George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry

Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C. -- W.C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. - Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can! -- Leo Durocher

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Comprehending Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The other engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Three

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? " The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my 0phthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Comprehending Engineers - Take Four

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.


The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1 Knowing where to put it $49,999 It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Five

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Six

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Comprehending Engineers - Take Seven

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight

"Normal people ... believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Nine

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?"

Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Ten

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Victa have released a new lawnmower, called the Schapelle.
It holds 4kg of grass, is guaranteed for 20 years and for a limited time only, comes with a free boogie board!

I just bought one and on the way home I passed the new Schappelle beauty salon! TAKES 20 YEARS OFF YOUR LIFE!

Dont you think thats a bit mean? Im sure thats some people will take offence to it since 99% of the world believe she is innocent and she's and aussie and aussies are the most loved people in the world!

An older couple were sitting together watching TV
during the commercial, the husband asked his wife " Whatever happened to our sexual releations?"

After long careful thought and silence during the next commercial, the wife replied, "You know honey I dont know, I'm not even sure we got a christmas card from them this year either"

I must reply to Bloody Wastelands comment...

There is a lot of myths regarding the Koran and 9:11, and that passage you mentioned. I read somewhere that "The Eagle" has another meaning--"God". So, it may just be a coincidence, but I sorta doubt it. Saddam ain't stupid, even if he is evil. He has managed to stay hidden from the best military force in the world, and instill fear in the most powerful nation. I don't like the way the world thinks all terrorists are retarded. They are mentally messed up, but they can still be intelligent. Never underestimate anyone.

Now, a joke:

erm....

Oh!!

Cheney and Bush are sitting in a bar, arguing over a piece of paper, and making notes. The bartender wanders over, and listens to what they are doing. Bush is getting angry at Cheney, who is trying to explain something to Bush.
Interested, the bartender asks what they are arguing about.
"Were arguing about the battle plans in Iraq," says Bush.
"What are they going to be," responds the Bartender.
"Were going to kill 100000 innocent Iraqi pig farmers, and one janitor," responds Bush.
"Why would you kill a Janitor," asks the Bartender, confused.
"See Cheney, I told you that they wouldn't notice the 100000 Iraqis!"

Another one...

The members of the KKK, Nazis, and followers of Osama bin Laden, get together and take over the world. They succeed, and decide that all American politicians should be shot. So, Kerry, Gore, and Bush are all lined up on a wall, and a firing squad lines up.

Panicing, Kerry decides to save himself. "Flood!" he shouts, and when everyone looks away, he runs away.

Gore thinks the same way. He yells "Tornado!" and runs away.

Bush, who has been frantically calling his dad on his cellphone, trying to get him to save him, decides he should do what Kerry and Gore did.

Bushes forehead crinkles in concentration, as he tries to think of a disaster. The firing squad loads it's weapons, aims and...

Bush finally figures it out. His face lights up in a smile, as he yells out "FIRE!!!"

He never knew what happened.


(Feel free to send hatemail to the New York Juvinile dentention center, care of Demosthenes)

Ahh demo... Saddam didnt stay hidden! they caught him in a whole in the ground with a rug over a piece of cement which was covered in dirt... Suspicious??? WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A RUG OUTSIDE! Stupid sand monkeys... BinLaden is the one thats hiding.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Boo
Boo Who
Dont cry! It was only a joke! *drums*

Sorry...edit that to Osama!

Offspring GET A LIFE its ONLY a joke thats the thing about Aussies they can laugh @ themselves p.s I'm one and Proud of it

Last Edited : Wednesday, 8 June 2005 - 03:36

talk to the smiley And if i dont have a life... Im not the only one on here... There has to atleast 10 people, Boe, Mog, Sage just to name a few .

If you think about it, everyone who is a dedicated player here has no life

TL

What is this "life" of which you speak?

A special one for Father's Day :

A man standing in line at a check-out counter of a
grocery store was very surprised when a very
attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face
was beaming.

He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't
remember ever having seen her before.

Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a
mistake and apologized. "Look," she said "I'm really
sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the
father of one of my children," and walked out of the
store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What
is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman
who can't keep track of who fathers her children! "

Then he got a little panicky. I don't remember her, he
thought but, MAYBE . . . during one of the wild
parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps
he did father her child!

He ran from the store and caught her in the parking
lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in
college and then we got really drunk and had wild
crazy sex on the pool table in front of everyone?"

"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm
your son's second grade teacher!"



Happy Father's Day all! And for those of you who are not fathers, remember to give your dad a hug or say a prayer for him.
Cheers,
H.
*proudly wearing his "World's Greatest Dad" button from a couple of junior waronliners*