I think this site needs some pure, sophisticated lititure. So, If youve got a poem, story or something, post it here!


No Spamming, Please!

It began one night with a tender kiss
that surprised both her and him
The moon was full, the stars were out
the candlelight was dim
They kissed once more, just like before
and what they both feared, they did ignore
You see, their love was not to be
because their peers would disagree
So lest their affair be discovered
they departed
secret lovers

It was a secret, none could know
so for a week they stayed apart
But they missed each other badly
It was a weight upon their hearts.
So in the night they met once more
and new sorts of pleasures they did explore
His touch was kind, they intertwined
and became one in body and mind
And after their strength they had recovered
they departed
secret lovers

Then trouble came for the two lovers
Their peers knew something was amiss
None knew how, but it would seem
that somebody had seen their kiss
He did not stall, he told them all
and their friends this did appall
They kept them away
and to their dismay
with their secret now uncovered
they departed
secret lovers

Now they dream of one another
dream of being together again
Another day, another place
they don't know where or when
Blessed they were with love sublime
They'll reunite another time
and on that day they'll rediscover
what it was like to be
secret lovers

Last Edited : Friday, 29 April 2005 - 17:39

Roses are red
Violets are Blue
I like peanutbutter
You want to screw?

Man, BA, you are at the height of romantic. Sage, take notes from him, you wannabe.

Here's a piece that I wrote some time back, but still like:

Finity

The Skies last forever
And stop at the horizon.
The Oceans are endless
And they end at the coastline.
The Earth has been here
Since the beginning
And it shall end.

We have been blessed with life
And we shall surely pass on.
We adore all our friends
And we know their time will come.
We all yearn for life
But you and I know
All things must end.

It's in free verse, so don't give me any crap about rythm or rhyme.

Here I sit
all broken hearted
Came to sh-t
but only farted

Sniff...Sniff. Amigo...you lull my heart!

Big amigo,
ate a fig.
Ate to much,
and became a pig.

Demo, I thought that you...the thread creator...would be the last person to corrupt the thread like that.

Looking back on it, perhaps I should have taken the offer of help. As I stood on the cliff, notebook computer in hand, I thought back to the night before.

From behind, I could sense the presence of the enemy. Ahead lay the precipice, a thousand foot fall onto jagged rocks below. The information in my computer would be safe from the enemy if I jumped and I would die in any case if he caught me.

I threw the computer off the cliff. Then I ran like hell. Later, in a bar downtown, I ate peanuts and talked to her about her unsavory acquaintances. Suddenly the bar door flew open and a picked squad of mercenaries rushed in.

"I threw the darn computer off the cliff, you ninnies!" I exclaimed, but they shot everybody in the bar. I wish I had let her help me change my flat tire.

Mogco© 2005

(yes, I am on heavy medication)

www.mpogd.com
A shot rang out! It was a vote for WOL on mpogd!

Last Edited : Sunday, 1 May 2005 - 01:35

im not very good but i kind of wrot e one for my g/f
i love you so deeply
i love you so much
I promise to give all i have to give
ill try to do anything for you as long as i live
the day i met you i began to see
that love exists inside of me
of all the girls I've ever met
you're the one i cant forget
Each time i see you my heart skips a beat
So remember when you see me again
I love you with all my heart
my hearts desire is to be with you
Right from the very start

If you go
Where the Huskies go
Don't you eat
that yellow snow

Tyler, you should try to work on your rhyme scheme. Sometimes you use ABAB, others you use ABCB, other times you don't rhyme at all. That distracts from the message of your poem.

This idea was truly bright
To let us show through words our might
Much potential it had in store
To trade some lyrics and maybe more

Sage was there to set the tone
Through tender love his passion shone
While discipline is not his style
His critique does make us all smile

Then BA bored beyond belief
Applied some humour as relief
His rhyming sucks so does his flair
But Hey it’s BA we’re discussing there

When Master Mog put down his tale
Hitting the proverbial nail
Drugs or not his mind is gone
Will someone use the doctor’s phone

Enter Tyler and your heart reveal
His words betray that he can feel
No sense of meter and hostile crowd
You manage yet to make us proud

Even Gfly plies his hand in verse
Scorns our grief while being terse
His End will surely come so soon
He is a tart and often swoons

And Demo who all this began
And doesn’t want to be out-done
Has yet to rhyme a single word
All hormones and no brains instead

Thus here my arse will see the night
I moon you all and hope to fright
Your tender souls corrupt with prose
I throw some eggs to hit your nose.

*claps her hands enthusiastically*

OK, this is my first time at love poetry...which I think this forum has become a haven for, so please don’t laugh...crying is ok though!

Young that I was, and still am,
the first time I saw you my head was in a jam.
My usual logical mind was told,
To go outside in the cold.

My thoughts were in deep turmoil,
One casual look from you would make my heart boil.
Life seemed to take a toll,
As I was consumed by you as if a black hole.

Many hours I could spend, upon my visage a silly smile,
Thinking of you the whole while.
A would sit in a tree,
Thinking of your hair, like silver filigree.

Oh, but my shy heart would not let me,
Take light and let me see.
That I was to afraid to ask,
It seemed to large of a task.

So time sped by,
With my mind up in the sky.
Then one day,
I asked if she may, come to my house this weekend.

So she did say,
“I do not know today”
Later that night, the phone rang,
And with a pang, you said—

“I would love to see you,
but my parents do not share that view.”
So I hung up the phone,
Completely utterly alone.


Now, a year older,
Also a year bolder.
(But not much wiser)
I stopped being a miser.

I Ignored the pain form a lost love,
It fled like me from a dove.
Now I began looking at others,
And you were smothered.

Even though now I am dedicated,
My heart would be best medicated.
If you were to love me so,
Because I am in a low.

No matter how many others I date,
My love for you is like a slate,
Ever crumbling away,
And becoming gray.

But on the inside,
Under the complexities of my mind,
You wear a silver tiara,
My eternal love Lara.

(Demosthenes wander off to sob somewhere)

Demo my friend you must realise
There is a life out there, even your size
So lay down that tissue and let go your fist
Get out a bit more, Lara Croft is a myth.

Well...you kept a constant rhyme theme!

However, the rhythm was all over the place...poetry should read smoothly:

Young that I was, and still am,
the first time I saw you my head was in a jam.
My usual logical mind was told,
To go outside in the cold.

syllables: 7, 12, 9, 7. Icky.

And then just a few times, it looked like you were forcing a rhyme where there was no rhyme to be found.

(But not much wiser)
I stopped being a miser.

How were you a miser before? Huh?

I Ignored the pain form a lost love,
It fled like me from a dove.

Maybe I'm uncultured, but are doves well-known for fleeing? Or did you just use that word because it rhymed with love?

No matter how many others I date,
My love for you is like a slate,
Ever crumbling away,
And becoming gray.

Well, at least you explained HOW it was like a slate. But it doesn't really fit with the rest of the poem. The stanza right after you called her your eternal love...but I thought your love for her was crumbling away?

Fixing the forced rhymes can come later, though. I'd definitely suggest that you work on the rhythm. That's what jumps off the page and smacks you in the face. Read it out loud, if you haven't already. You should see what I'm talking about.

At school and only have time to comment on one thing..
The dove.
Seems to me that it could be a biblical allusion perhaps.. You know.. noahs ark... dove flees off to find a fig tree.. wasnt scared though.. might be a far cry but its something *smiles*

Sage you old quack let poor Demo go
He’s doing his best so let his prose flow
You’re vicious and pink and you’re not wearing gloves
And poor little Demo’s got a problem with doves

Stop counting the lyrics and giving him flack
Demo’s so young and you’re an old schmuck
I’m throwing the glove and suggesting a duel
Do you have what it takes or prove you’re a fool

Last Edited : Monday, 2 May 2005 - 17:13

No, I wasn't discouraging him, not at all. I'm trying to help him along. I'm sure Demo has great ideas, and I want him to be able to express them well.

Rog is like a crazy minstrel.


Oh, you're a crazy one Rog
With your head all in a fog.
Enough of your diatribe!
Let us get back to the rhyme!