*Sage bursts awake, sitting up in his bed. He looks to his right and sees Gutterfly*

Sage: Gutterfly! Something's wrong!

Gutterfly: *groaning* Sage…go back to sleep*

Sage: No! Something's wrong…I just know it.

Gutterfly: It's your imagination. Or possibly that chili we had for dinner. Now shut up and let me sleep.

*Sage gets up out of bed and throws on a nightgown*

Gutterfly: Where are you going?

Sage: To check on Eugene! I have to make sure our baby is all right!

*Gutterfly rolls his eyes and groans, then rolls over and goes back to sleep. Sage carefully treads down the hallway towards Eugene's room. A cat jumps out from the darkness, making Sage jump*

Sage: Jesus H. Christ! *kicks the cat out of the way* Don't scare me like that.

*Sage reaches Eugene's room and pauses in front of the door. Gathering his courage, he pushes the door open slowly, creaking as it swings open.*

*The scene cuts to Gutterfly asleep in bed. A piercing scream rips through the house. Gutterfly jumps out of bed, instantly awake. Such a high-pitched, womanly scream…that could only have come from Sage! He rushes, half-dressed, down the hallway into Eugene's room.

Gutterfly: Sage! What's wrong?

Sage: Our baby is gone! They took Eugene!

*Sage breaks down in tears, and Gutterfly examines the scene. The window was wide open. Eugene's cradle was empty. And there was a note on his pillow. Gutterfly picks up the note and reads it aloud.*

Gutterfly: Dearest Sage. As you have, of course, noticed…I have stolen Eugene. This is your own fault, Sageycakes. What you did to me…so many years ago…I can never forgive you for that. You stole Gutterfly's heart from me, Sage! I had him first!

*Gutterfly pauses, finding it difficult to continue*

Gutterfly: "So I have taken Eugene as revenge on you, Sage. By the way, I'm going to raise him agnostic. And make him wear dresses…with little pink bows. Cruel? Yes…yes it is…but I've been driven to such drastic measures by your betrayal! You'll get Eugene back when Gutterfly dumps you and rushes into my open, loving arms.

*Gutterfly pauses again, looking reassuringly at Sage to say he would never do that.*

Gutterfly: With lots of hugs and kisses (nah, I'm just kidding…with lots of hate and kicks in the testicles), Mog.

*Sage's eyebrows narrow and his nostrils flare*

Sage: Mog? Mog stole our baby!?!?

Gutterfly: It would appear so, honey…

*Sage stands up, brushes off his nightgown, and starts toward the door.

Gutterfly: Where are you going?

*Sage turns around, and Gutterfly sees a look of determination on his face.

Sage: I'm going to get our baby back. This is war.

Ok...welcome to Forum War 2005! As you may have guessed, this is going to be between myself and Mog. But there's definitely a place for all the rest of you as well! We'll be opening up seperate, recruitment threads. Each of you can pick a side...join myself and Gutterfly in a quest to bring back Eugene? Or fight alongside Mog to win Gutterfly's heart? The choice is yours!

We're going to have a few rules. Since Mog is a forum moderator...breaking the rules may result in having your post edited or deleted. This sorta thing will only work if we keep spam and useless posts out of it.

1. Use proper threads. This thread right here is going to be our "conflict" thread. Interactions between Sagians and Mogites will take place here. If you want to interact with the opposing side...do it here. Don't go and post in the other two threads. Posting in the enemy's thread may result in you being captured and tortured!

2. Please, no spam. Keep your posts in here related to the RPG.

3. Let's try to keep the sides relatively even. We can't predict how people are going to split between Mog and me...but if you're thinking of joining a side and you see that they already have 4 or 5 or 12 more people than the other side...do the underdog a favor and join up with them, K?

More rules to come if/when it is neccessary.

Last Edited : Thursday, 16 June 2005 - 15:21

Eugene settles in, comfortable and happy at last. He speaks his first word, "Moggy." Mog looks lovingly at him, confident that Gutterfly will see the wisdom of Mog's actions and dump his tormentor, Sage.

Mog prepares some booby traps for the expected rush of hired thugs and assassins to come from Sage's rather oddly colored (he likes them weird colors, y'know) castle.

"Eugene, would you like some Mogtreats©?" he asks.
Eugene scarfs down a huge pile of them, growing healthier and happier by the minute. "What were they feeding you, anyway? Watercress sandwiches?"

Eugene burps contentedly.

Ghengis is running a recon mission on the area around Mog's lair. He has learned from bitter experience that while you watch one Mog, the clones are sneaking up on your back. Taking notes on the territory and noting the most excessable points of entry he prepares to head back and report to sage.

Mog is happy to see that many are learning to mistrust Sage and his perfidious lies. He glances out the window to see a pony with a Bahamut on it run right over a Khan-like person, wounding him greatly.

"Ah, we shall prevail, my friends. This is just the beginning, though, so keep sharp!"

Mog hands Gyne a large sword to kill off the hordes of idiots running around in the yard.

*Sage looks and shouts out the window*

Sage: Ghengis, you ninny, get back inside! Now is not the time! *shakes head sadly* I know he was just trying to help...but now I have to pay the doctor bills. All Sagians! Stay in the fortress for now!

A messenger arrives at the Fuchsia Fortress. He is wearing the purple robes of a Mogite scum but quite enthusiastically waves a white flag. Gfly opens the door and admits the terrified messenger inside. As soon as he's in Ghengis slams the quivering messenger to the wall and in a murderous tone asks him
"WHAT… do you want?"

The question is followed by a quick shuffle from Ghengis to avoid the gathering puddle at the messenger's feet.

Messenger: "err…" *whimper* "His Mightiness the Mog…" *which causes everyone in the fortress to start laughing* "His Mightiness the Mog… err,… would like to order from your rubber factory 1000 condoms for his personal use, each a foot long."

The laughter stops immediately and Ghengis looks worried at Sage and Rog.

Ghengis: "Is he for real?" *he whispers to Sage* "Is Mog really that powerful?" and a quick thought about his decision making processes crosses his mind.

Sage grabs Ghengis by the elbow and drags him aside, to where Rog and Gfly were teaching iznogoud how read a topographic map.

Sage: "Listen Ghengis, this is going to be a long and hard war. Mog is no slouch but he is also DEFINITELY not endowed as he claims to be. Ask all those hundreds of potential Mogettes he disappointed in his life. But,…" *and Sage smiles cunningly* "…we shall give him what he wants… almost!"

Sage turns to the messenger and orders him to wait patiently.

Sage pulls Rog and Gfly to the store room where Sage's rubber making machine is attached to the wall. He makes a slight adjustment in the machine and it springs to life. Gfly is feeding the machine buckets of liquid rubber on one end and Rog packs up the finished products at the other end, while Sage hums as he operate the different leavers and controls.

When the shipment is ready Rog picks up the box and they all step back to the front room where Ghengis entertains himself kicking sand in the crouching messenger's face.

Rog: "Here you go. Tell Mog, it's free of charge for we will ransack his home soon enough. Go now…" *and Rog and Gfly grabs the messenger and throw him out the door.



…some 30 minutes later…


Mog: "…so they just complied ehh?! Good! Made them work for nothing and installed fear for good measure. Now let me check out those johnnies…" *Mog tears the box open and pulls one of the condoms out of its pack. He unrolls a foot long rubber and the smile on his face disappears. His visage turns more purplish than his robes and a murderous look is on his face as he shows the messenger the unrolled condom.

All across the condom in black lettering appears the word 'SMALL'.

...*looks at the sword and sits down exhausted*

"Meh"

Last Edited : Friday, 17 June 2005 - 16:23

ToPoGrApHiC MaP...

OK... it wasn't THAT difficult!!!! after ALL... it only took 27 times to get the directions straight... sort off...

OK...

The Mission... "CO ORDINATE THIS"
The Plan... "Follow the path on the map from point ALPHA to point BRAVO, then Report back to HQ. Signed SAGE"
The Man... "IzNoGuud"
P.S. "THAT means U"

IzNoGuud appears all camouflaged and with full combat gear before Sage, and says his famous last words (just in case)

"Medal Medal Medal... am I gonna get a Medal 4 this???"
Sage passes his hand through his eyes, and says

"... just get going, will ya..."
IzNoGuud starts reading his map, pressing his head onto it...

time time passes...

Sage reaches out to him and turn the map upside down...
a profound "...AHHHHH..." his heard...

more time...

"where is point Alfa, by the way?" IzNoGuud asks Sage

"You're F*****g Standing on IT" is Sage's answer

another "...AHHHH..." echoes on the Parade Ground

"and the lines are where?" asks IzNoGuud

"WHICH LINES???? THAT IS THE PATH YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW... THERE ARE NO LINES...NOW GO" Sage yells (if you look closely u can distinguish a vein or 2 in his neck)

And so departs brave IzNoGuud, always with his head pressed onto the map, walking through gates, moats, fences, minefields, jungles, rivers, u use ur imaginations that i'm getting tired of writing all the places where he passes...

3 days, 13 hours and 29 minutes later, after an exthenuating trip, IzNoGuud finnally arrives at point Bravo...
all teared, sunburned, limping (the croc bite didn't help), stung, u name it... our Brave IzNoGuud reports to Sage

"Where the heck have you been??? I thought you had defected of something" asks Sage

"Fulfilling my assignment Sir! Sage! Sir!" answers IzNoGuud, while he tries to stomp his feet (the good one, which makes him stumble cause he had forgotten that he was limping from the other).

"You're assignment WAS to go from the Parade Ground around the Camp and into the Mess Hall..." replies Sage

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH... I knew that... i just wanted to see if you knew it also... can i get my medal now Sir Sage Sir?" asks IzNoGuud.

Sage passes his hand trough his face while replying in a slightly altered mood "... GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU..." (due to technicalities i've refrained from transcribing the rest).

*Sage hands Izn his medal and watches in amusement as he leaves the room. He turns to Gutterfly*

Sage: I didn't want to spoil his good mood...he seemed so proud of himself. I just didn't have the heart to tell him that Mog's Hideway is only 2 blocks away...

Gutterfly: Maybe he enjoys traversing jungles and minefields?

Sage: Exactly. So why ruin his fun? He got the hidden camera installed, didn't he?

*Gutterfly checks the computer screen*

Gutterfly: Yup, he sure did. Well, somebody did. And nothing interesting happening yet, though.

Sage: *smiling* Don't worry. Something will show up.

Last Edited : Saturday, 18 June 2005 - 00:14

Ghengis is walking around recovering from the pony attack when he spots the spy camera laying on the table where izno set it down while looking at the map.

"Man this is supposed to be in Mog's sanctuary"

Grabbing the spy cam, a remote controlled battery powered stereo system, and a recording of a donkey braying he heads for mogs base.

Circling around he sets up the stereo system and then moves. Once he is ready he uses the remote to start the stereo with the tape playing. He lets it run for a couple of seconds and then stops it.

Gyne hearing the braying puts away her daggers and runs towards the entrance. She exclaims under her breath "my date is early I'm not ready!"

Ghengis quickly follows her, slipping into the base and planting the spy cam. Then he makes his way back out, and slips into the bushes near by. He hears Gyne calling from inside and quickly hides and watches. He is stunned by what he sees and hears. Gyne is carrying a whip and wearing a leather bra that doesn't cover anything. She is also wearing grass panties. Then he hears her say "Darling where are you? I have your supper here and if you don't eat it all I shall have to punish you!"

Ghengis hits the play button and as Gyne runs in the direction of the noise he moves away. He shakes his head and says "I wander how Rog knew about the donkey?"

Going back to Sage's fortress he heads to the medical ward for some rest.

Max lugs the camera that Mog told him to hide in Sage's base down the street. The thing weighs a ton, and everyone is staring at him. He wonders how he is going to get into the fortress unnoticed with this thing. He could sure do with some more Mognog right about now.

Suddenly, as he's about to cross the street, he trips over Offspring lying in the gutter. The camera goes flying, hits the ground, and smashes into a million pieces.

Max:"Uh oh. Mog told me not to break this. But maybe I can fix it! If I can only remember that book I read, 'Fixing broken secret cameras for dummies', then it'll be good as new!"

But all Max can think about is Mognog, and how he would like some more. When he closes his eyes, he sees a giant bolw of Mognog dancing around in the air.

But then, he has a brainwave! If he could get into Sage's fortress, and use his innate knowledge of electronics, he might be able to rewire one of Sage's security cameras to send its signal to Mog! But first he has to get inside.

Max walks up to the doors of the fortress, and rings the bell. It's answered by iznogoud.

iznogoud:"Go away! This huge, fushcia fortress is a secret base! You're not supposed to know about it!"

Max:"Err...gas meter man. I'm here to...er...do whatever gas meter men do."

Max waits until he's out of sight, and then walks to the main area of the base. On the way, he passes Sage's bedroom, looks in, and immediately wishes he hadn't. While trying to repress the memory, he comes into the control room of the fortress. Eagerly, he takes one of the security cameras off its mount, and reprograms it so it now sends a radio signal to Mog. But as he tries to leave, he realises he's lost. He wanders around the twisting corridors, trying to find the exit. Finally, he finds a door, and rushes out. But that doors leads to the fifth floor balcony, which Sage hadn't started constuction on. Max falls out, and as the ground rushes up, he thinks how much it sucks that he should complete his mission only for this to happen.

He shuts his eyes, and waits, but nothing happens. Tentatively, he opens one, and realises that he is still alive. Looking down, he notices the camera broke his fall. He lets out a long sigh, says "Whew, I knew that thing was good for something," and heads back to Mog's Hideaway for more Mognog.

It’s evening time and all present in the Sagian Fuchsia Fortress are gathered around the table for dinner. It’s a large, round, oak table marked with 36 matching triangles, wide bases facing 36 high-backed chairs. Sage sits proudly at one chair, Gutterfly on his right, Rog on his left, Ghengis and iznogoud are sitting on the opposite side holding hands under the table. A little skinny lad called trainer12345 runs around the table fetching spoons and cups and such like, pretending to look very serious.

Everyone is quiet and Sage lifts his hand holding a remote control with some 50 buttons on it. He presses one of the buttons and the centre of the table lifts and a tray bearing several roasted fowl is presented. There’s duck and chicken and turkey and some hard-boiled quail eggs, all beautifully garnished with veggies and sesame. Ghengis takes one look at the food, turns green and rushes out of the room to the nearest toilet where he is heard barfing like a dog who ate a dead possum. Everyone raises their eyebrows but say nothing.

Ghengis returns a moment later and says “Sorry Boss. Don’t know what came over me.” He sits down, takes one more look at the food and sprints out of the room again.

“Well” says Gutterfly “we might as well start without him honey.” He turns to Sage “Please, let us start” and Sage crosses his fingers, turns his palms inside-out and pushes them upwards above his head. He starts swaying from side to side, reciting the ancient Fuchsia Fortress Grub Cuisinoctomy…

“Ohh pink, ohh cerise, ohh fuchsia so grand
We eat to grow fat and never be bland
In case we grow hungry and have nothing to eat
We’ll just make more children and start a great feast”

Everyone claps, throw a cherry pip at Sage and tuck in. The food is delicious if slightly sticky and everyone goes for seconds. Sage then lifts his remote and another button causes a large TV to descend from the ceiling. One more button pressed and it’s switched on to watch the inside of the evil Mog’s hideout.

Mog and his dastardly minions are sitting around a small camp fire in the middle of the room. Ultima looks his filthy self, with furs that have never been properly scrubbed from their previous live owners. He gnaws on a large bone and dribbles copiously. Gyne looks at him with disgust as she searches for lice in Mog’s long, unkempt hair. Her nimble fingers rummage through Mog’s fur and dreadlocks and the numerous morsels she finds therein are quickly swallowed. Maximillain practices his martial arts by spinning round and round on the spot, falling down in a daze and springing back to action as soon as he can stand again. Only Offspring sits quietly as he tries to capture his beans induced farts with a plastic bag. Suddenly Mog burps and all the others clap enthusiastically.

From the other room a baby’s voice is heard crying. Mog says “will someone quiet that brat down?! Now!” and Offspring walks over to the other room with the plastic bag tightly held like a swelling balloon in his hand. “I’ll take care of this" he says and they all laugh horribly.

In the Fuchsia Fortress Gutterfly starts crying and Sage makes a oath to get his revenge on the disgusting Mog and his foul minions. “We shall see who eats the last fart Mog. Ohh, we shall see!”

Last Edited : Monday, 20 June 2005 - 01:31

After such gruesome sight IzNoGuud declares at The Fuchsia Fortress Round Table to all his Companions.

"Brothers... we must ACT"

Says IzNoGuud while raising from it's seat

"Though i know that the blame for all evils rest in Mog's shadow, we can't simply abandon those poor lost souls, that need a Guide to the True Path"

Heavenly Music is playing at the same time, and ALL Sagians look in AWE to IzNoGuud.

Sage says...

"He's been taking something or what?!"

Rog raises and speaks...

"Dude lets bloody Nuke them!!!"

IzNoGuud raises his hand to huch his fellos colleagues
and says...

"Brothers... I've taken steps onto the Conversion of our Fallen Brothers.
Allow me to Initiate Plan 'Believe This'"

and while he reaches onto his Palmtop and executes a command
All Sagians see onto the screens a MIGHTY MONOLITH (bought on the Discount Sales of the Film "2001"), falls on top of Mog's left foot (which starts to wail loud and clear 4 all 2 see).

"Brothers... See how the Heathen are awed by the Sagian Heavenly Power!"

and initiates a second process, that starts the diffusion on a particular high volume of the 2001 Theme music (included on the Monolith's package if u were amongst the first 1000 viewers to order it) in a continuous way.

After this momentous expirience, IzNoGuud takes his seat clearly tired.

"Can I have a Medal Please, please, please???"

Asks IzNoGuud

"Ufff... now that's more like the IzNoGuud that I know... i was getting scared..."

Says Sage

Demo is torn between two causes...defending justice with Mog, even if he stole a baby, or the glory and cash of Sage. Demo decides to use the trusty-wusty ennie-meeni-miney mo method, and picks Mog. He puts on his Ego-sheild, and polishes his insult-sword, and charges into battle onto his trusty steed, Karma.

Demo obseves all the old men yelling at each other, and decides on the best course of action. He gives a heroic speech to his men, pulls his Ego-shield in front of his face, and charges deep into the hearts of the enemy insults. The roar of battle around him, he sucks up his breath, and courage, and bellows...

SAGE, YOU'RE A LOSER!

Demo then hides, and quivers.

As Ultima Bahamut swiftly flew past fields upon fields of grass he thought back to his conversation with mog...

"Interesting," said mog with a hint of utmost urgency.

"Ill try to arrange some ladies to come by whenever we might need them..."

(UB)"But i dont really think that is a great idea...not a very good environment for everyone...sides i have to like the girl"

(Mog)"I see...well either way im going to have to go feed eugene now ill try to figure something out"

(Mog)"Say what are you doing with that sword anyways?"

(UB)"Oh this one?Gyne gave it to me...said something about it being too heavy"

(Mog)"Oh...ok that is fine then i guess.do you like it?"

(UB)"Yeah it is very interesting...has inscriptions all over...not to mention shiney. hehehe"

(Mog)"Yeah...well i am off"

(UB)"Goodbye"
-----------------------------------------------------------
He didnt really get much of a reaction from Mog he thought...or at least not any reaction that he was expecting...but his situation WAS weird after all...he decided to not worry...he managed to turn into a dragon today...with a little help provided by Gyne who seemed to find strip poker VERY fun.

As he looked about he finally saw the hideout at the horizon.He then noticed something very peculiar...giant stones where falling all around the hideout...and as he got closer he realized they were giant blocks of stone...and so he quickened his speed.

When he then was getting even closer he looked down to find a very suspicious looking character running away from the hideout.As he did not recognize him he quickly dashed down and with one quick swoop he caught the character with his claws.As they began ascending the young male he was carrying began screaming and struggling and so Ultima spoke to him.

(UB)"Now now...you dont want to fall, we are alreay high enough so that if you were to fall youd instantly die."

"Id suggest you think before you act"

(Stranger)"What do you want!!??"

(UB)"Information of course!do you not watch cop movies?"

At this point Ultima began circling around the base which was still being showered with constant streams of the gigantic boulders

(Stranger)"Please!i beg of you! you must let me go!i know NOTHING!"

(UB)"Sure thing pal"

...and as he said this Ultima threw upward the young man and simply watched him as he fell down sreaming into the now very odd looking scenery full of giant blocks of stone.

As the stranger fell and reached a height of about 30 meters from the ground Ultima quickly dashed down and grabbed the guy before he fell to his once assured demise.

(UB)"Alright now...no more games,tell me what i want to know and you can go free"

Before the man could give an answer Ultima looked in the direction of the base and with his mighty wings took flight.He flew on swiftly and effortlessly through the now last few falling blocks of stone.He needed to prepare himself for the worse...he would know for sure.It would not be hard to find out even from this distance...

Last Edited : Monday, 20 June 2005 - 10:06

Rog decides he had enough. He just walks over to Mog's neat monoliths castle and ring the doorbell. Gyne opens the door wearing nought but a little white apron and a pair of pink bunny ears. She blushes at the site of Rog and retreats from the door indicating inside.

Gyne: "Big boss Mog is in there... gorgeous..." her sentence trails off and she slips away with a huge blush.

Rog walks in, kicks Ultima and Max out of the way and accidentally steps on a little green gnat brandishing a shiny shield saying Demo on its face. Mog sits on his throne of bones all confident and smug. He expects Rog to offer his unconditional surrender or a plea for mercy, but Mog's smile disappears as Rog determined walk towards him, doesn't abate.

Mog tries to make himself become smaller but Rog grabs him by the collar and yanks him out of the throne. Mog's feet are dangling in the air and his face turns the colour of his robe.

Rog: "Where is Eugene? Sage's Baby!" and he adds a nasty shake to the hanging Mog.

Mog: "Get out" *cough* "I got guards and I'll..."

Rog shakes Mog again and the threats stop mid-word.

Rog *very quietly*: "WHERE IS EUGENE?"

Mog's finger feebly points to the back room. Rog swings his hand and tosses Mog unto the catering table breaking several bowls of Mognog and trays of smörgåsbord. Rog opens the door to the back room and is nearly choked by the shock as Eugene is discovered larger and hairier than he was only a few days ago.

Rog: "What have they been feeding you? You poor little bugger..." and Rog picks up Eugene and walks out of Mog's castle. He pinches Gyne's behind as he walks out and bends the steal bar on the door into a pretzel. 'That'll keep them in for a while' he thinks and goes back to the Sagian Fuchsia Fortress.

Gutterfly rushes over to greet him and snatches Eugene out of Rog's hands.

"Ohh, my poor little baby" cries Gfly aloud as he sees Eugene. "What has that horrible Mog done to you?!" and Eugene answers with a happy "Gugu Gaga" and vomits down Gfly's shirt.

They walk back inside and present the missing brat to the Sagian troops. Sage says: "I just love this no nonsense stuff, don't you?" and he opens a bottle of 30 year old Springbank malt whiskey. "Let's have a toast..."

Last Edited : Monday, 20 June 2005 - 15:21

*Sage finds Rog asleep, half naked, buried under a pile of beer cans and dirty magazines*

Sage: Rog! Rog! Wake up, ya ninny...you're having a nightmare or something

Rog: *forcing his eyes open* Wha?

Sage: You woke everyone up. You kept shouting something. Were you dreaming about chasing a rabbit or something? Cause your you knocked over your beer can pyramid with your leg spasms.

Rog: Oh...I guess it was just a dream. I dreamt I got Eugene back...

Sage: *smiling* Maybe it's a premonition then. But for now, why don't you clean up the mess you made?

Rog: *frowning* It seemed so real...

Sage: Go easy on the booze, buddy. *winks*

Rog: Yeah, yeah...I guess it IS kinda messing with my head.

Sage: Well, I'm going back to sleep. Nightie night.

Rog: Night...

Last Edited : Monday, 20 June 2005 - 16:14

"Damn... at least some "Damsugar" could have made its' way onto Rog's dream... now i'm hungry... where will i find some sugar at this late hour?"

And so goes into the night our brave Sagian...

Who trips over a root...and falls on his face...


Demo is deep into the enemy ego, and he decides to retreat back to Mog-land.